:: VanessaJezamine ::

Moment to ponder...

2012-02-09T21:37:00.002+08:00

Got it off a friend's Facebook post.

A woman would be much better off is she could distinguish the difference between a man that flatters her and a man that compliments her. A man that spends money on her and a man that invests in her. A man that views her as property and a man that views her properly. A man that lusts after her and a man that loves her. A man that believes he is God's gift to women and a man that REMEMBERS a woman was God's gift to man. Know your self worth. God doesn't make junk. God makes jewels.

Don’t worry when I argue with you, worry when I stop, because it means there’s nothing left to fight for.

You left me by myself all alone today...

2012-02-09T21:11:00.002+08:00

I know that one day when I walk away, you won't be coming after me...

Technology

2012-02-09T14:53:00.005+08:00

It's the era of technology. It's the era that separates the generation before us with ours. It's the era so many of our previous generations are so hard trying to fit in. It's the era you see in every corner you turn; someone holding on to technology. For dear life.

Just the other day at Starbucks, a kid was holding on to an iPhone 4, amidst sounds of the game twittering away. His parents, reading the paper (or book). It is uncommon to find many parents thrusting gadgets into the hands of their children to keep them occupied so they (the adult) could get on with whatever they wanted to do. Oh yes! It is THIS generation and even a kid of 4 could self teach himself how to use an iPhone without the help of his parents!

To this, we have created a generation with what I call, No-Technology-Manners. Often at restaurants, churches or other holy sanctuaries, classes and dinner tables at home, you would have someone on the phone, or kindle, or iPad, or the sort. These had become a refuge - out of loneliness, embarassment and selfishness.

Often, we loose out on human touch; on human communication, simply because there is something urgently important to tweet about. At times, accidents are caused by electronic devices.

Then what, people would ask, what would we do without technology? Honestly, nothing much. I rely on the internet for plenty of things. I could not live a day (or two) without my phone and the internet. I'm dependant on it for a lot of things.

Sometimes, your gadget is your only best friend. When you have no one to talk to while waiting for a pick up at the mall, you're on Facebook and Twitter on your smartphone. When you appear to be angry at the other half, you whip out the phone furiously as a mechanism to avoid conversations. The phone, had been my refuge. You see a familiar face you're reluctant to meet, *phewww* you're now staring at the mobile screen, hoping the other person didn't notice you.

In the end, the gadget just becomes a barrier between you and the other person. At times, it becomes the very reason you create that barrier.

For example :

My husband, is a typical man who cannot live without his gadgets, despite my frequent tries and request to gain the attention.

I am sure, with all the excuses, something important ALWAYS comes up.

And I am sure, that something is always MORE important.

27 days to go.

Ginger Body Scrub

2012-02-06T22:14:00.002+08:00

I purchased a Groupon the other day for two sessions of Ginger infused Body Scrub at Mary Chia. Well, the promotion was kinda convincing; it said two words that grabbed my attention; detoxify and exfoliation.

My, my. Aren't I easily manipulated?

On Saturday, I went to test it out. It was awesome because it felt like I shed buckets of sweat and I felt so fresh right after!

First, they got me changed into nothing but skin and a disposable G-string before the lady got me scrubbed with pleasant smelling ginger scrub. It didn't feel (ginger) hot at all; actually it felt great with the slight pressure she was putting as she massaged it on.

Then I was popped in the sauna for about 15 minutes, where she added another 10 (I think) after asking me if I wanted to sweat it out somemore.

She later then asked me to sit and cool down for a while (with a glass of water, she is so SWEET) before hitting the showers. Then I was done!

I did this at Mary Chia Tropicana City Mall branch. I assure you, I was attended to by very nice and accomodating girls (unlike Mayfair Uptown PJ...). The whole experience was awesome.

I tried Mayfair detoxifying fat busting thing too. But the lady was rather rough with slathering on the cream PLUS they did not propose the usage of showers after the sweaty experience. Yes, I went for dinner and went home, sweaty, sticky and hopefully not smelly. Imagine, not even disposable underwears. I had visible wet panty outlines on my faded jeggings and I DETEST VPLs! The horror! It was like having to flash a toothy-smile with rendang stuck to my braces!

The way they treat people with discounted Groupons...

Anyways, watch out for Groupons. Sometimes they give great discounts for things that are expensive on the market. You know, things that you would love to just try out to experience and not commit long term.

Have a great week ahead!

Lost in love

2012-02-06T21:59:00.004+08:00

My love for books of course.

I am sure, some would never undertand a bookworms passion. One can buy books like handbags and shoes. One can buy books within 5 minutes. One can buy a book on impulse. One can buy books like Groupon. One can scream at the sight of book sales and discounts.

One can cry when a book arrives in the mail.

My book from Amazon arrived today; it was Nicholas Sparks' Three Weeks with my Brother.

I'm ecstatic.

I have just 5 books more to complete the list. And I'm going to do it, soon.

[x] The Notebook
[x] Message in the Bottle
[x] A Walk to Remember
[ ] The Rescue
[ ] The Bend in the Road
[x] Nights in Rodanthe
[x] The Guardian
[x] The Wedding
[x] Three Weeks with My Brother
[ ] True believer
[x] Dear John
[ ] Wokini
[ ] At first Sight
[x] The Choice
[x] The Lucky One
[x] The Last song
[x] Safe Haven
[x] The Best of Me

Meanwhile, I have to finish that book from Cameron Highlands!

My love for Nicholas Sparks' books, are perhaps like my love for you...

The Scrapbook

2012-02-06T11:14:00.014+08:00

The girls and I conjured up a scrapbook for one of the other girls, Tong Hui, who we fondly call Fish, who was leaving for Melbourne on the 11th. SHe would be furthering her studies there for about 2 years.

The idea, inially, was blurry as I can't quite put my mind to what should be written in the book. Thanks to 4 lovely creative monsters coming to my rescue, we finished quite an awesome present.
Thanks to Cherry, Lor Lor, Ash and Kei.

The Preface.

Chapter One : The Tong Hui we know and love - potatoes, Red, Sweet tooth, handbags and Alex

Chapter two : The Love birds

Chapter 3 : How we met her - Hailam kopitian, My wedding, Desapark City and Subang Airport. Alex has yet to write his love story...

Chapter Four : Times spent together - My wedding reception, Ipoh holiday and shoe shopping

Chapter five : Little messages

In honor of receiving =)

Le lovebirds

BYE FISH! WE WILL MISS YOU!

I-somehow-cannot-think-of-a-suitable-title-but-originality-is-always-in-the-imperfections-isn't-it?

2012-02-04T23:59:00.005+08:00

I love to indulge in enjoyable (or not) recollection of past events. Thus, the idea the blog is called reminiscing. There is always something worth recounting in your head and at times, it makes you think of how you could have reacted or controlled the situation better.

At times it makes you depress and how you wish you did NOT react that way and had controlled the situation better.

I realized today what the blue (and clear) thing that stops my bite are called. It's a bite turbo; apparently, it is there to stop me from biting against my brackets. EXPLAINS. Let's now hope it does speed up the process and actually serve it's purpose. For the moment, I shall live with swallowing everything again.

The girls and I spend nearly all day at Tropicana City Mall whipping up a scrapbook project for one of our girlfriend, who's leaving for Australia. We made quite a market at Starbucks, cleaning up after our mess because we felt quite bad. Might take some pictures and post the scrapbook up.

Loretta took a picture of me and lomo-fied it. I love my Instax camera. =')

I await the beautiful teeth, since I suffer so much... T_T

At the moment, my smile is just SAD.

Happy long weekend ya'all and to the Muslims, Allahumma salli 'ala Sayyidina Muhammad.

If you would have met me now, you would have not been attracted at all...

Back to porridge

2012-02-03T16:11:00.007+08:00

I went back to the dentist today, a month after I got my upper braces fixed. I remember how my molars were hovering over each other after that appointment; I couldn't chew anything because my teeth were not touching. For a while, I was swallowing and relying on my tongue to help smash food. This happened because the dentist glued two hard, blue nonsense to the back of my upper canine. As a result, I bite on the blue stuff and my teeth can't touch.

Today, I return to get the bottom fixed. As I was just about to enjoy being able to atleast chew a little (my teeth moved considerably much!), I had more of those nonsense fixed so I won't be able to chew solid food again.

I am now a Brace-Face, atleast, Ceramic Braced. =)

You can't see no nothing unless you're near.

The highlight of the day? The dentist's compliment.

"Out of 99% of my patients, I usually tell them I have to cleaned their teeth first before putting this on. In your case, your teeth is so clean, I don't even have to clean them."

That rang through my head all throughout the process. Helped lessen the pain, maybe?

Say YES to oral hygiene.

Back to porridge/congee! My favourite. Have a great weekend!

A peek from the lense

2012-01-30T00:22:00.004+08:00

Sunrise in it's beauty

Morning in Capetown's airspace

I found some lavenders outside the hotel

All work and no play

A hearthy breakfast

Camp's Bay Beach

I can't make it out...

With Captain Husband

Beach front

Tired

I WANT MY ROOM NOW!

Room not ready, waiting patiently

Florida and the shoppers

Oreo cone at McD, Buenos Aires

Splendour

2012-01-29T23:10:00.014+08:00

Oh yes, remember the picture of the clouds tumbling down the peak of Table Mountain? Beautiful, isn't it? Imagine, witnessing that in real life... Table Mountain is a flat-topped mountain forming a prominent landmark overlooking the city of Capetown in South Africa. (yes, I wiki-ed the last line)

Anyways, we took the cable car up to the peak the day before we were bound back for kL. Yes, it was hot like no ones business and yes, of all the days I had to choose not to apply SPF, it was the day we went up Table Mountain.

It is flatter then usual at the peak of 1086m, with sort-of-like treaking path at the top. Of course, one can opt for a 3 hours -or more- hike to the peak instead of the 7-minute cable car, or the other way around for a different kind of adventure.

Paths/walks/tracks

The view from above, is spectacular. I have never seen any like that before, landing into Capetown from the cockpit's view is totally a different story. The small brochure, given to tourist up the mountain, contained several local jokes about the National Park.

From the brochure I also found out about the event of clouds skimming the peak. Apparently, it is associated to laying a table cloth on a table. Geddit? Table cloth? Table Mountain??

Plenty of pictures were taken, you really cannot find help not taking another shot of the view. Even the Husband.

View of the city from up hill

The view from the cockpit during landing gives you a view of Robben Island, the island where Robben Island Prison is standing, the prison Nelson Mandela was held during the apartheid.

Sori bout the clouds... It's the tiny white squares far right.

Anyway, the Husband's got a new camera. So I spent most my time watching (and snapping) him being professional.

Charming much?

A debut with African Music

2012-01-25T01:17:00.008+08:00

I came across a catchy African song at the souvenir shop off Long Street, Western Cape. Of course I did not have the guts to ask the lady whose song and what, me the white woman arguing with her husband over what souvenirs to buy for them people back home.

And so, I tried to 'Youtube search' my way through, with no lyrics or clue what to start with. Don't be surprise, of all the tags in the world, I tried my with 'African Singer'. Of ALL the tags. After a few sad tries, I came across this girl, Zahara, and found it!!

This is the song : Loliwe by Zahara.

Apparently the South African singer's album, of the same name, Loliwe, just got released last year and she was an amazing hit! I can see why, the other songs on the album are not too bad either. Though I do not understand a single word, I like the music.

This song, Umthwalo, isn't too bad either.

Some kind soul please translate for me. =)

Buenos Diaz, Malaysia

2012-01-22T20:05:00.011+08:00

(Written on 22nd Jan)

Yes, it is probably 8.06pm back home, but from where I am now, it's only 9.06am. And yes, the whole of Asia is having there Lunar New Year eve dinner where as Husband and I are lazing around after a breakfast of french toast and scrambled eggs.

I am in Buenos Aires at the moment, leaving for Capetown once again tonight on a nasty, long flight. Four days ago we left Capetown for Buenos Aires. In case your wondering, I'm on a long trip with Husband. He had been rostered for Capetown-Buenos Aires trip for about 12 days, Capetown for a few days, then Buenos Aires, then back to Capetown. And mind you, this is kinda like the wrong season to come. It's bloody scorching here!

There are abundance of Nando's and Halal food in Capetown; it isn't much of a trouble thinking about what to eat. But in Buenos Aires, it is much more difficult and we resulted to cooking. Yes, I bet my Husband is tired of my cooking now.

There was an Indian restaurant in Buenos Aires called Delhi Darbar, somewhere off Viamonte Street and the Chicken Tikka is to die for. I had it twice, both the times I was there. Fancy isn't it? Having Indian in Argentina?

Delhi Darbar at Viamonte

Ok, besides the occasional hot South American men on the streets and the usual 'perky' women strutting their stuff beside them, Buenos Aires pretty much consist of busy streets and pasta. We went to the famous shopping street Florida which are riddled with souvenirs, leather goods and 'Liquidacion' signboards.

There are also football jerseys in abundance. *snorts*

Tango off Florida

Capetown, in the other hand, is BEAUTIFUL. It's just scenic; you basically don't even have the time to swallow all the splendor from the view of your window before the plane touches that South African land. The Western Cape basically looks like lower land surrounded by vast mountains and hills, especially Table Mountain. I bet if it was in Asia, the lowland would have been the place locals tanam padi. I don't have a photo of it much, but will try to take some on the way back.

Sunset at Camp's Bay

Husband and I visited the beach in the Western Cape at about 1900 (yes, it's not quite dark yet) when it wasn't too hot anymore. Not too long after that, we witness the splendor of the clouds skimming the peak of Table Mountain and the beautiful Sunset. Not so romantice I assure you, Husband and I had an argument. (as always..)

Skimming...

It was just terribly hot in Capetown I hadn't the mood to go out but in Argentina, we had two nice cloudy days, I was in high hopes of looking for something good to buy. But a warning note, NEVER go shopping with the Husband. You're probably better off when you're out shopping alone.

Till then, will update more with time. Happy Lunar New Year to the Chinese. May the Dragon year prosper for you. =)

As it says

2012-01-19T16:17:00.001+08:00

Some things are not meant to be.

So are some people...

I'm going away

2012-01-15T00:30:00.001+08:00

Hello lovers,

I'm gonna be in Capetown and Buenos Aires till the 27th...

Till then, I Love You.

50 books to read before you die

2012-01-11T23:03:00.004+08:00

I love the Times bookstore. Not only for the promotions and membership discounts, but also for the variety of stationaries available. I never FAIL to find something to buy whenever I'm here. =D

I came across a beatifully etched stainless steel bookmark today. It said, "50 books to read before you die".

I realized I found the one thing that could keep me sane. Combined with my love for reading, I found the one thing that could keep me occupied and my mind temporary off things - completing that list. You know, like a temporary detachment from the real world.

Some of the books by timeless classic writers had already been crossed of that list, but I still have tons to read. Like the The Lord of the Rings trilogy for instance. It says the WHOLE trilogy.

I would have plenty of time I guess since I just kissed my kebaya goodbye this 2012.

I'm wondering, why isn't Nicholas Sparks on that list? =)
Now I'm kinda hoping I come across a list with books more to my kind off taste - hopeless romance and somewhere along and/or towards that line. Till then, have a better week babes.

Taking down the Xmas tree

2012-01-11T13:54:00.004+08:00

It is typical of Christmas to give gifts and receive. I had several and just last week, my parents bought me a nice pair of pants (RM29 LOL) because they didn't know what to get me. So they whisk me into the mall and got me to grab something, days short of the festive season.

I love that pants.

I took down my 6 foot Christmas tree today. Yep, a lil off the 12 days of Christmas, but I guess the Lunar New Year mood is slowly overwhelming the atmosphere as the Winter Holiday's dissapear in the air. *sigh* Another year has begun.

Looking under the tree, I found a gift my friend Nanthini gave me. It was a notebook. Just a simple notebook. As I reread the card, I somehow felt the weight of it's simplicity, the weight of her thoughts as she wrote that card for me. I knew she was sincere and I knew she meant well. I knew, that she knows I would love it. And I do. Tremendously.

I'll share the card with you :-

Dearest Michelle,
I hope this Chritsmas gift would create fond and dear memories with your little one in the future. Spark's quotes are really heart warming and I hope you jot your favourite ones down for your prince OR princess to read when they grow up. Merry Christmas!

It is the most thoughtful gift for the year.

Then again, there is only one thing left to do. Finding a little one!

"Surround yourself with people that will build you up"

I'm sorry...

2012-01-11T00:13:00.003+08:00

I am sorry I'm not a skinny bitch who models and have great skin and hair and have high taste for fashion and fancy things...

It's still counting...

2012-01-08T22:11:00.003+08:00

It has been 12 years since Spice Girl's sparked our attention in class.

Throughout those years, she had been the greatest person in my heart.

She had always been there for me and barely lets me down.

She was there when I was upset, she was there when I was sad, she was there when I was happy.

She was my maid of honor.

This month, she's gonna be celebrating her 23rd birthday. Kei, you're getting old. =D

I won't ever want to lose you.

Selamanya

2012-01-02T14:42:00.004+08:00

Tahukah anda,

Apa itu maksudnya,

Makan hati?

Hiding

2011-12-22T20:19:00.003+08:00

It's so easy for you to think that 'hiding' it from me just so I won't see, could mend my broken heart. You should know that it will only hinder it to a certain extend, but the heart is only breaking further...

A lie, won't be a lie for long...

Anon said

2011-12-21T20:30:00.002+08:00

"If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go."

Just for some Xmas spirit...

2011-12-21T18:44:00.004+08:00

The weekend is nearly here and you can never miss the last minute hustle and bustle of Christmas. Last minute shoppers, chocolates and goodies nearly sold off the shelves and I'm sure no one can miss the Christmas dinner promotion and offers adorning the eatery walls.

Christmas eve dinner, what else can it be. A roasted turkey, ham, puddings, pies, delectable cuisines of each spread on the table as family gather together for that end year celebration. Presents, trees, cards, candy canes adds up the mood and carols fill the air.

Alas, don't we all just love the spirit of Christmas? It is so mellow, comforting. Even the lonely feel loved. The oh-so-loving the festive season is a great mark to end the year.

Because I have been stopped *rolls eyes* from getting involve in anything Christmas-y *snorts*, here is a little tale to lift the spirit in me.

I'd be going home for dinner with the family, with roasted chicken (instead!), mummy's food and MORE and MORE OF MUMMY'S FOOD and here in an addition to the whole atmosphere, CHRISTMAS PUDDING!!

Ok wait. Not exactly the pudding. I couldn't find any *tears* so Koko said to buy Pannetone instead. Italian pannetone is more like a cake or hard bread.

Pannetone

I'm all excited about going back now since I can't wait to see what Koko is gonna work out with it! I'm sure it's gonna be mind blowing and mouth watering and air liur drooling...........

Pannetone seems more interesting to me since I'm not much of a fan to the extremely-diabetically-sweet Christmas pudding. I use to pile my slice with mega amounts of custard (which I love!) just to mellow down the sweetness. However, pannetone in the other hand can be enjoyed in a variety of ways -jam, butter, cream, mascarpone cheese. Leftovers can even be made into bread butter pudding! Perfect, no?

My cuppa tea - Pannetone with custard.

I love it already. =)

Can't wait for the eve. Merry Christmas everyone! =)

Don't I deserve it?

2011-12-21T10:58:00.005+08:00

The most painful part is to know that you don't even deserve the knowledge and TRUTH.

image

The element of surprise

2011-12-09T20:32:00.003+08:00

Hey Sugar, I personally, don't quite like surprises. Maybe I'm just living in denial, but I always feel like I have the need to return the favor. Knowing me (and my ability to want to outdo...) I will stress myself up with coming up with something better and ridiculously fall into a state of despair if the returned favor was not appreciated or accepted gratefully.

But then again, sometimes you're just dying for a surprise from your loved one. Like little notes you leave for each other, surprise hugs and kisses, a different restaurant, getaways, massages etc. I used to do this, but when I hope for a returned favor and I see none coming, I get upset. So insincere of me in the first place isn't it?

Hehe.

Presents. I love presents. Giving and receiving. But of course, there are also unnecessary presents and sometimes, it's just ridiculous. I have the tendency to shop for unnecessary things myself and yet I'd tell them not to buy them! And it's usually unnerving for others when I make a fuss of how there is no need for such things yet I sometimes do it myself. It's so discouraging, right?

Hehe...

Today, I realized how much I was dying for a surprise. A surprise note, a surprise present, a surprise holiday. It's quite simple actually. We are simply the cause of the lost element of surprise there days. Just because of the fuss and the lack of tact to the other party, they sometimes don't know what to buy, or where to go. They want to surprise you, but they are just afraid of the rejection that comes after.

Weird how humans work, right?

I came across these 7 very interesting points to the elements of surprise. Enjoy!

Geoffrey Webb : The 7 elements of surprise
Want to help a customer or client feel appreciated? Seeking to recognize someone on your staff? Want to show your spouse how much you love them? There’s one thing exceptional leaders have up their sleeve to do all of these: They can pull off a good surprise.

I love springing a good surprise. Whether proposing to my wife, throwing a party for a coworker, or just making someone’s day, I try to work the following into all my suprises:

1. Listening. It all starts here. Always have your antennae out. People unwittingly drop hints all the time about what they want, need, or like. Store this information away. Also, gauge receptivity—would something small and private work best or would they prefer something more public?

2. Patience. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to act. Don’t give in or give up on a surprise just because it’s convenient. Bide your time. Generally, surprises are like wine, the longer you take to plan them, the more impressive they are. (Having said that, don’t wait too long!)

3. Assistance. The more people involved, the better a surprise can be. However, the more people involved, the greater chance you have of someone slipping. It only takes one careless word to tip off your target. Only bring on people you need who can keep a secret.

4. Unpredictability. Surprising people on holidays or special days is nice, but popping a big one on an average, run-of-the-mill Tuesday can be epic. I love to catch people with their head buried in the everyday and startle them with how valuable and cherished they really are.

5. Preparation. Surprises don’t have to cost much. It’s the time and planning that’s appreciated—and that’s what makes others feel appreciated as well. Part of the joy of a surprise is the realization that other people are thinking about you when you’re not around. Who doesn’t like that?

6. Deception. Warning: Only attempt this to the extent that you (and whoever else is involved) can pull it off. The point here is to throw off your intended target. Lead them to believe it’s business as usual. The equation is simple: The bigger the deception, the bigger the surprise.

7. Mass. Pile on the surprises. Just after you’ve surprised someone and their shock has faded into a relaxed smile…is the perfect time to spring another surprise! It takes planning and coordination, but you get an exponential reward.

I need a surprise. I need a break, a holiday and a surprise.

So please, surprise me Hunny.

B- Cards again

2011-12-05T11:13:00.003+08:00

Do you remember last years post about my B-cards or fondly known to me as blog cards?

2010 Edition

So, here is this years edition.

Have a Happy Christmas everyone!

Ok, I'm sorry that the picture is dark and the poor tree isn't lighted up, but I arrived on the day Hilton Kuching had not had their ceremony for lighting up the tree for the year. In adition, the picture this year was taken with a pathetic camera.

Also, in case you havent noticed, last year the tree was PURPLE! And as you all know, purple IS my favorite color. =) I was a little more enthusiactic then.

I hope you have a merry one this year with love ones lots of wish granted and resolutions achieved. It's only 25 days to a new year for new resolutions and more wishes to be wished for.

Be good, or Santa might just answer that!

I have to go back to wrapping my pressies now!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

A lost

2011-12-01T03:26:00.000+08:00

We never really remember & care about someone until we realize that we might never see that someone.. forever

Alas...

2011-11-27T16:54:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, you go all the way to make something original by your creativity, by hand, DIY. (I love DIYs!)

Sometimes you go all the way, because DIYs always seems more genuine and sincere. Something deeply from the heart.

Sometimes you have sleepless nights getting it done or perfecting it. No matter how hard you try to do so, the imperfection is always a little bit of you.

Sometimes, DIYs are better valued then a gift bought.

But sometimes, people don't seem to appreciate DIYs because there is no value, because their is no brand, because it's inexpensive. There is nothing to brag or show about. Something not worth treasuring.

Alas, sometimes, their appreciation is just non-existant and even so, gladness only last for a moment.

Best of all, it's only sometimes people get the inspiration and burst of creativity to go all out to make that day special.

It's loosing its speciality, it's no longer limited edition.

It's always about the price and the name.

What a shame... What a shame...

Getaway

2011-11-24T11:06:00.002+08:00

With all this mix feelings,

I need a vacation...

Read a dear lil friend's blog today and I realize how she was right. Sometimes an escape from your routine, mundane life would be the best antidote for the weary heart. Even if it was for a night or two, a couple of miles away could make a difference from the familiar walls that you constantly face each day.

The breathe of fresh air, a good book, sunnies. Oh, don't forget an awesome meal or breakfast by the cafe.

Oh, I long for one...

Realization

2011-11-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

I just realized how.... DARK, my blog is.

It's so.... DEPRESS...

Behind every bitch, there's a man who made her that way

2011-11-23T19:02:00.003+08:00

Something, I found, rather beautifully written, by one of my colleagues from work. She probably had a rough year and a rather hard time recently and I have seen a rapid change from A to Z just on her Facebook itself. I thought, she was going insane. Today, I came across this :

(I hope she doesn't mind, LOL!)

BEHIND EVERY BITCH THERE'S A MAN WHO MADE HER THAT WAY

I'm up and supposedly, content. I mean, every thing's going steady. I'm trying to focus on work, my family situation is ok... not necessarily the best but things are working out ok. I decided to end my previous relationship AGAIN and move on with someone who seems to care for me more than the latter ever did.... Relationship. I guess that's what confuses me to some extent.

Of course, after experience we begin to realize that it isn't at all glamorous as the television screen hypes it up to be. Sparks fly in the beginning, rapid conversation is exchanged, steady streams of expressed compassion... then begins to fade and the true test commences. The process of maintaining one. Sure, you can accept an "imperfect person perfectly." But how do you construe the difference in constantly giving someone chances who's resistant to change AND perhaps seeking someone who's willing to come so much more closer to what you truly desire?

I committed 120%. No, I'm not an obsessive psycho-bitch that constantly needs a man in my life 24/7. In fact, I treasure my independence. It's all I have apart from my brain and it's going to get me that much closer to achieving my overall objectives in life. I value space... but I'm not one who set him far apart in my schedule. He is the one I care for and every tidbit of time that I had I reserved for him. If I didn't have the time, then I'd make sure to utilize my imagination: calls, gifts, whatever to cater because to simply put it, a lot of my happiness was derived from him.. the thought of him.. the complex of him.. the personality that defines him.. and I was willing to do whatever I could to express that happiness in a variety of ways to keep our relationship from shriveling up.

I didn't ask him for much but expected the same breach of commitment. But he continued to fuck around, play games, and lust like there's no tomorrow? There's other people to shove that sort of vindication to. I'm not the person to mangle in that kind of misconstrued relationship.

It merely boils down to the nasty nature of men. Am I saying that there's no such thing as sluts or playgirls who enshroud themselves in the game of toying with men who so happen to wear their heart on their sleeve? No. I'm absolutely not. However, I profoundly believe in the statement that "behind every bitch... there's a man who made her that way."

Males know they play a predominant role in society. We know this and we live with it. However, when males begin to take advantage of this so-called hierarchy things begin to disorient and causes a negative but "accepted" role to appear. Such like the "man show" which promotes the whole stupid "get fuckin' drunk, fuckin' laid, and drive fuckin' awesome cars." in the most disgusting comedic manner. Everything fucking exists to drive the nature of man whether positive or negative. Porns exists to satiate man. Whores exist to exchanges roles with man although in the end, they remain nothing more or less than a whore. Mothers exist to hopefully indoctrine wise and moral lessons in approaching and treating women to eager sons. Womens magazines exists to develop certain standards as to how to be sexy or "please your man".

Am I being hyper-sensitive number one advocate for feminism? Not necessarily. I don't value the idea of gender equality being on an unbalanced see-saw no matter what gender it is. There are unequal mandates, laws, hell even preconceived notions about each gender that still needs work but no, I'm not going to picket around and bash every male in sight. I'm sure there does exist that man who sees the same route as I do.

Anyway...
As much as I love him, I love myself more to give myself only the best. He had a chance to be with one of the best he ever had and he screwed it up because of pride. Well, I'm moving on without him slowly and I hope that some of the girls that I know will do the same and be with men who appreciate them. Its out God forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved (Jason Mraz- I'm yours) and so if your man isn't doing that, then he doesn't deserve you...

There is truth in what she says, somehow. And I find it quite empowering.

False hope

2011-11-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

I'm still holding on to something that I know will never happen, because inside me, I have this little piece of hope that someday, it will.

I blame myself for my disappointment...

Numb

2011-11-21T17:25:00.001+08:00

After a while, when the same thing keeps happening, you develop a sort of numbness towards it. And if it is caused by a person, you develop a sort of numbness towards them.

Happy Feet 2

2011-11-21T10:21:00.003+08:00

I have this fetish for penguins, yes. Have you seem my cute doll, Pinga -given by Tochi, my dearest debate friend back in college.

I loved Happy Feet and when the second movie was due to release, I got excited everytime I saw the trailer on screen somewhere.

My favourite character in particular was Gloria. In the first movie, Gloria was voiced by the late Britanny Murphy. She, my God, had a great voice. It is only fitting that in the second movie, Alecia Moore, or more fondly known as Pink, replaced her. Now, Pink ALSO has a great, great voice! MY, i thought she made an excellent Gloria!

Gloria was a very beautiful emperor Penguin

Here are two of the power songs by the two leading ladies.

Somebody to Love - Britanny Murphy (Happy Feet OST)

Bridge of Ligh - Pink (Happy Feet 2)
Ps: I find it so....church-chy. =)

But of course, the once I'm all excited about are the babies! They're truly just adorable... =)

How can you resist? ;p

I was interested to see Seymour's anak, Atticus. As I thought, he would turn out exactly like his father, the rapping monster with a Black accent. It was excellent! (Bapa borek anak rintik...)
And then we have Boadica, Miss Viola (the singing teacher) anak. Awww, very sweet believe me. There is also several brand new characters and one silly duo to watch out for is Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, the Krills.

Have you watched it yet? You must, I tell you. It may be a lil ridiculous in some scenes for some adults, but believe me, it will be a temporary detachment from the real life around you.

It did for me. Temporarily...

It's mind over matter, darling...

2011-11-21T07:41:00.004+08:00

I talked to my best friend last night and she said pretty things to make me feel better.

I would I do without you...

Babe...

2011-11-20T21:48:00.002+08:00

I am done, smoking gun. We've lost it all, the love is gone. She has won, now it's no fun. We've lost it all, the love is gone. And we had magic, and this is tragic. You couldn't keep your hands to yourself. I feel like our world's been infected and somehow you left me neglected. We found our life's been changed. Babe, you lost me. And we tried, oh how we cried, we lost ourselves, the love has died and oh, we tried, you can't deny we're left as shells, we lost the fight. And we had magic, and this is tragic. You couldn't keep your hands to yourself. I feel like our world's been infected and somehow you left me neglected. We found our life's been changed, babe, you lost me.
Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet. You'll regret it but it's too late. How can I ever trust you again? I feel like our world's been infected and somehow you left me neglected. We found our life's been changed, babe, you lost me...